I want to eventually get married just as most other women do to. At the same time as I desire to have that man by my side, there are other things I know I need to work on and do as a single person before that time comes. There are things in my relationship with the Lord that I need to work on and to become…more stable? constant?….before I marry. For me personally, I, also, need to focus on getting through college and getting my social work degree. There are things the Lord is calling me to now to do and I need to be focusing on those things. I need to be more focused on seeking Jesus and doing the things He’s calling me to do and going where He is calling me to go as a single woman.
I love how Damon Thompson says it “You have to begin to look at relationships as an inheritance instead of a pursuit. You are not intended to pursue your spouse, you’re intended to inherit your spouse because you pursue God”.
And I love what Mike Bickle says ” Your first calling is to be a faithful anointed lover of Jesus”.
Damon, also, says ” “If you want to find your spouse just run as hard and as fast as you can after God, and then look over and see who’s running next to you.”
I want to share with you a blog post that a woman from a ministry called The Ramp in Hamilton, Al, wrote concerning relationships. It’s really good.
“Relationship Run “
This is some incredibly practical material – with Valentines Day looming in the near future I thought I’d share some thoughts with you guys.
For all of you who spend way too much time wondering who “The One” that you’re going to marry is, here are some things I have learned recently:
During Winter Ramp Damon said something kind of as a side comment that really impacted me. (And I’m sure every one who was single in the room picked up on this as well) He said, “If you want to find your spouse just run as hard and as fast as you can after God, and then look over and see who’s running next to you.” That is such a powerful word! Well naturally the single minds start to think, “Hmm…well who is running next to me?…” And as I was pondering this the Holy Spirit interrupted my thoughts and said, “Julie, are you running as hard and as fast as you can?” After I thought about it for a minute my honest response was, “Well…no.” And His response to me was, “Well then don’t look.”
Wow. What a rebuke.
But what a freeing word! In a moment I realized that my only responsibility is to focus on running as hard and as fast as I can after God. To lay aside every weight that hinders. To stop settling for a “normal” walk with God instead of a supernatural one, and to really press into God, growing up into spiritual maturity. Like Mrs. Karen says, “Where you stop is where you stop!”
Being single is a time in your life to treasure. It’s the only time in your life that you have where it’s just you and God – where you don’t have to worry about the responsibilities of a spouse, or kids, etc. It’s a time where you can so easily put all of your attention on Him. And if you’re feeling lonely, just realize that loneliness is nothing more than an invitation to find a deeper security in God. Most people get so busy trying to fill the lonely times with distractions that they miss the Divine “Come up here.”
All of that to say, let’s set ourselves this year to cut out distractions and run as hard and fast as we can – to run in a way as to receive the prize of encountering Him.
Are you running as fast as you can after God or pursuing Him has hard as you can? If not, then don’t look. He will bring that guy or the girl to you, but your first priority should be building your relationship with Jesus. When your running as fast as you can, God will being that man or that woman that is running the same pace as you. I don’t know about you, but the pace I’m running right now, I don’t want my spouse to be running that same pace. I want to be running faster. I want to be pursuing harder. Your relationship with Jesus is so precious. It is so precious and treasured to Jesus. It is His desire that you know Him. That He be found by YOU.
Right before Jesus was arrested, He prayed for you. Sure did. And John 17:3 says ” And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.
Friends, For God so loved the world that He sent His One and Only Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. The “eternal life” that Jesus came to give you is more than just going to Heaven. Yes, it is that, but it’s so much more. It doesn’t stop at the gift of Heaven. Jesus died so you could know Him. He was crucifed so you can have a relationship with Him. Eternal life is that you know Jesus and the One who sent Him. It is that you seek Him and you find Him. Just as it says in the Word: You will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. That’s a promise. You are meant and purposed to seek Him and find Him. To Know Him. So, how precious and treasured it is to King Jesus that He be known by broken you- and me.
I just read 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 just a short bit ago as I again began to briefly think about relationships.
1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (MSG)
“I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.”
As I just read this a short bit ago, I began to realize how it is a gift to be single. The single life is a gift from God. Right now as a single person, you are free to seek God and spend hours and hours with Him without all the things that are a part of the married life. “All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions”. It is a gift to be single. And if we would see it from that perspective it could change alot of things. We are free to go into the secret place and just simply be with Him seeking Him out and going to deeper places with Him. No, I’m not saying that married people can’t. Of course even married people can seek God and go deeper with Him. But you, also, have your spouse to focus on, the kids, the house, ect…But God has given you a unique gift as a single person to just be free to seek Him and know Him. I don’t want to waste this precious time on temporary things. I don’t wait to waste this precious time not seeking Him.
We need to have a firm foundation with Jesus. Being stable and grounded in Him and His Word because when He does bring that man or woman to you to marry, it will just get harder. More things wil be fighting for your attention and affections and if your not firmly grounded in your relationship with Jesus first, then you are more likely to waver and fall. The Lord wants to shape you and wants to be the kind of person that can stand firm against the passions of the world and to stand firm aggressively resisting the attacks from the Enemy. He wants to make you more immoveable.
“I have set the LORD always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
This is a time for you to go to such a deep place with Him and know Him in such a deep way where you can just simply enjoy Him. You can look at being single as a gift or as an unfullfilling, lonely segment of your life. I want to choose to look at this time of my life as a gift and not look back years down the road wishing that I had taken this precious time more sacredly and had taken advantage of this.
He desires that you be satisfied by Him. First and formost. Be satisfied and content with Jesus. Be satisfied with being with Jesus- seeking Him and finding Him. Living in His presence. Walking this journey with Him. What your really longing for, Jesus wants to fill. Find the Joy of being with the Redeemer and seeking Him and pursuing Him. The Joy of being with Him and discovering more of who He is, how He feels about you, how He sees you. I’m telling you friend, there isn’t anything like it.
The Gift of Being Single:
1 Cor 7:34 “All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions”.